12 Do’s and Don ts of Dating a Finnish Person LDR Guide - Jazz Up Your Wanderlust - dating new york city

12 Do’s and Don ts of Dating a Finnish Person LDR Guide – Jazz Up Your Wanderlust

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12 Do’s and Don’ts of Dating a Finnish Person LDR Guide

Dating a Finnish man was definitely the best decision of my life.Who would have thought that Toumas love would make me go halfway around the world and start a life together in Finland.

It’s funny to think about it now, but I can assure you that dating a Finn was exactly what I needed in my life.

Compared to Rantics, an American, dating a Finn taught me everything, including living slowly and enjoying nature.

In 2017 I found myself in a long distance relationship with my Finnish boyfriend Tuomas.I’m an American who knows very little about Finland.

I knew Finland’s geographical position and that it snows a lot.

What I didn’t know is the cultural differences in dating.Especially when long-distance relationships get mixed up.

To be honest, I almost got lost😫.

And while you may say, “People are not all the same,” dating a Finn will help you see things differently.

Finns are very quiet and humble people compared to noisy Americans like me.

After dating Tuomas and making friends with Finns, I found that Finns have a different way of thinking about dating than Americans do.

I will introduce what I learned after dating Finns.

Check out this Instagram post

12 Lessons I Learned While Dating a Finnish Person in a Long Distance Relationship

~*This article may contain affiliate links for products that I feel are best for long distance relationships.This means that you can receive a commission at no additional cost to you when you purchase using the link below.~

Many of these dating rules apply to most relationships, but there is certainly a Finnish perspective.

I had Tuoma take a look at it all, and I think it will be very helpful for people who are just starting to date Finnish people, so I was convinced.

You could say that this post was accepted by the Finns.

Don’t Ask Yes/No Questions

To tell you a little about myself, I was a physical therapist in the United States, specializing in geriatrics.

Working with older people, I learn that yes or no questions should not be asked.Because when you ask a question, the answer is either yes or no.

He just answers without giving a reason.

Finns are a lot like the grumpy old patient I had 😆.

When it comes to dating a Finn, be sure to ask open-ended questions and keep the conversation going.

A good example is

“What is Finland like in November and spring?”

I guarantee you will get a pleasant answer about.

If you want to date a Finnish girl, start with HerFinland’s Varpu.She will tell you everything you need to know about Finland and guide you on the right path to learning Finnish.

Learning Finnish is something you want to start doing sooner or later.It’s also a great way to get to know your partner better.

By learning the other person’s language and culture, you will be able to see and understand a side of the other person that you would not be able to know through a conversation in English only.

Do Learn More About Finland

If you want to learn Finnish today and find out how to connect with Finland, check out HerFinland’s Spark Your Finnish course.

Information about the Spark Your Finland course can be found on her HerFinland homepage here.

Americans and Finns have different dating cultures. In America, when you’re dating, you talk to a lot of people and choose the one you like the most.

When you date a Finn, you don’t know that he’s genuinely interested in you if he takes time for you and shows interest in you.is not it.

If not, they won’t make time for me.

However, the fact that the other person is interested in you and makes time for you will make you feel comfortable spending time away from you.

For Finns, it’s very simple: they like you, they want to be with you, and now you can hang out with them.

It took me a while to get used to it.

Don’t Be Afraid to Show Your Independence

This also means that those of us in a long distance relationship have to get used to being apart and not being in touch 24/7.

It was a relief to be able to focus on my growth and development and Tuomas to focus on his studies.

If you’re in a long-distance relationship with a Finn, being open and independent will make him more attracted to you.

When I was young I was taught that women should be seen and heard, but as a child I couldn’t follow the rules and as I got older I became more outspoken.

Friends and family worried that this act of honesty would prevent me from finding someone to share my life with.

After that, I started dating a Finnish man.

With Toumas, I’ve learned over time that it’s okay to lead.

If he didn’t accept it, he would have challenged my view.

Dating a Finn allows you to accept a side of yourself that is buried in cultural norms and expectations.Especially if you come from America.

Do Take the Lead

Finns are very nice people, so they can take initiative and pursue their dreams.

If the other person feels uncomfortable, they will definitely let you know, so don’t worry.

Also, it’s important to have open communication about what’s going on, not just being late.

When Tuomas and I were in the long-distance relationship phase, we had a call schedule between us.

It helped us know that we respected each other’s time and made time for each other.

Instead of expressing affection through floral prose, Finns show us the time we spend together.

If Finns make time for you, you know they care about you.

Do not trample on the other person’s feelings by coming without telling them the reason for being late.

Don’t Be Late

To be honest, this may be a stereotype.Not all Finns like metal music, but most of them do.

Finland has the highest number of metal bands per capita in the world.In short, Finns value metal music as much as they enjoy their morning coffee.

When we first started dating, I was surprised that Toumas listened to a lot of metal music.

Also, I thought that I couldn’t like metal because it was full of pessimistic music.

Over the last few years with Finn, I’ve learned that there are so many genres of metal music.

In the past, I was in a long-distance relationship and once gave me a dancing metal playlist.

Do Get Used to Metal Music

I guess they thought it would be better to have amaranth and baby metal

So while metal music may not appeal to you at first, as you get to know the Finns, you will come to embrace their culture, the metal heavy side.

If you don’t like it yet, I’m sure your partner will find a metal band that he likes.

It is also a good idea to ask, “Please show me the Hebisaurus,” and start the viewing from there.

I said that Finns are very nice people, and that also shows in dating and relationships.

Unlike America, Finns don’t rush life.

Many Finns wait until their 30s to get married and are comfortable with long-term relationships that aren’t the typical milestones of engagement or marriage.

If you come from a culture that puts a lot of pressure on milestones like this, this can come as a shock.

We had to discuss these cultural differences together and find a middle ground.

For me it was important to be engaged.It let me know that we have the same goals for the future of our relationship.

Don’t Rush Things

Toumas and I have been talking about our engagement for a year before she got engaged.

And the reason we got engaged in such a short period of time was because we talked about the financial implications of getting engaged.

Finns don’t rush about life, so if you want something in love, know that it’s okay to lead the conversation.

But there must be many reasons why it’s important to you.

Finland is a gender-equal society, so it’s a good idea to have your partner do the cooking and cleaning.

When Finnish children go to school, they have to take home economics classes called “kotitalas” and “casiteot” in the United States.

You can learn how to cook, clean, sew, and do household chores.

At first, when the silence continued, I felt like I had to say something to fill the space, which made me feel nervous and confused.

If I had to say the reason, I would say that Finns have a strong connection with nature.

Socializing with Finns is in some ways like a walk in the woods on a hot summer day, relaxing and calming.

Do Get Used to Doing Your Share

And so as not to disturb this quietness with meaningless conversations, just sit back, relax, and enjoy the peace and quiet.

Now, since this is general dating advice, let’s look at it from a multicultural perspective.

If you are in a multicultural relationship, you may not always agree with the way the other culture behaves.

For example, when Toumas and I started dating, it was very difficult for him to express his feelings and sincerity.

As a result, there were many misunderstandings and arguments, but that is also part of meeting Finns.

Finns don’t open up easily.

You need to give your Finnish partner time and space to feel comfortable and fully express yourself.

Don’t Worry About Awkward Silence

Also, their culture is quiet and they do so out of respect for others.It may sound complicated and roundabout, but that is the reality.

What is Finnish free bucket?

You can believe that it is a thing.

To be honest, Finns don’t seem to understand why they wait outside for hours to get a bucket.

If you’re dating Finn, ask him what’s going on with this bucket, but save yourself the headache and try not to think about it.

It may be part of Finnish happiness.I might start getting excited about the free bucket too.

Do Respect Personal Space and Boundaries

There’s a reason Finland has been voted the happiest country in the world for the past four years.

That’s because Finns believe in the idea that ‘everything will be fine’.

This peaceful mindset may be due to the government’s backing of medical care and education.

New moms can choose between a box full of baby clothes or money to raise a child.

The government pays for students’ commuting costs and public transport is very reliable.

This “I believe it will work” was the biggest culture shock since I moved to Finland after dating a Finn.

It’s been a series of hardships for me, but gradually I’ve come to believe in things and believe things will work out.

Don’t Try to Understand Free Buckets

All thanks to that Finnish magic of happiness.

I work with her HerFinland to help you know as much as possible about Finland and your partner’s culture.

Here are some courses that I recommend.

I believe that cooking is the best way to reach people’s hearts.Your Finnish partner will be very happy to see you cooking one of their favorite recipes.

It also comes with a cultural guide, so you can learn about Finland while cooking.

Do Trust That Things Will Work Out

I’ve already introduced it, but it’s too good, so I’ll introduce it again.If you are just starting a relationship with Finn, this course is a must.

I will teach you everything you need to know about Finnish so you can speak Finnish in minutes.

Are you in a long distance relationship with a Finn?Then be sure to check out the post below.

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6 thoughts on “LDR teaches you! 12 do’s and don’ts when dating a Finnish man”

Hi, sorry for the long message but i really need some advice, i’ve been lost lately.

My Finnish daughter is a shy girl (she’s confident, though) and I’m not sure if she likes me too.

– Since the beginning of September, I have become more active in discussions, so I don’t dare to start conversations.He said that he would have the opportunity to meet people overseas, but I’m not sure if he was talking about me or other people, and the period was short.

Are You Dating a Finnish Person and Want to Learn More About Finnish Culture?

-Also, shy girls sometimes send songs to their crush, my crush doesn’t do that, but she shares her shared discord during the conversation.I uploaded some songs to the server.

Is this how she shares her stuff and songs and I take it slow?I mean, isn’t it possible she’s pretending she doesn’t like me?She said that everyone she had a bad relationship with was a stranger to her.

And “…if Finn takes the time to show you that he cares about you, know that he really cares about you. Otherwise, he won’t make time for you.

Also, I really regret sending that apology message, and I don’t know if I should tell her that I regret it…I don’t want to ruin my relationship with her.

Sorry again for the long post.Any advice would be really helpful, thank you.

When I say “make time for you” in the article, I’m assuming you’re referring to video calls and long conversations.

So how do you know if you’re dating?I’m Mexican, but there’s a big cultural difference, so I need to know if we’re dating, but I guess that’s not the case…Should I ask him in such a case?Or should it be left as is?

In such cases, if the person is hesitant or acting unwilling to define a relationship, it’s time to walk away from that person.Do everything you can to become and you deserve nothing below that.

Should I email you first??

I last saw a guy at a party yesterday, we talked a lot and ended up kissing more than a few times.I know kissing someone you’ve just met might not mean much, but we talked about places we could go together, so I’m expecting a text, because that’s the usual way where I came from.I’m not really having trouble with the text at first, but I’m afraid of coming off too strong, any advice?

I’m going to Finland, I’ve been to all of Northern Europe, but Finland is very different!What I like about them is how quiet they are, but when they get naked in the sauna, it’s really loud and fun hahaha.

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Hello, I’m my girlfriend Jasmin and this is my husband’s girlfriend Tuomas.

My mission is to help you and your partner gain confidence in her LDR, overcome misunderstandings, and close the gap.

They started their long dating journey in 2017 and officially cut the distance in October 2020.

Now we live together in Finland and help other couples have successful long distance relationships.

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Categories: Dating

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