Why We re Addicted to the “Dating Chase” (and How to Stop) – Talkspace
Why We’re Addicted to the “Dating Chase” (and How to Stop)
I was interested in boys and chased since I was aware of it. I chase Endless, such as those who do not give emails, those who know they are not willing to associate, or who do not know much about my existence. One person literally chased From 14 to 23 years old, repeat on and off. It’s a serious story. 9 years!Nevertheless, if you easily win the love of people, it will not be so exciting. And it’s probably not the only one who feels so.
For many people (including me, of course) addicted to the dating chase There is a very bad habit in one pattern. You can overlook the good things in front of you, giving priority to pursuing, the next new thing, and the excitement.
We are convinced that it will be more attractive by targeting things that are difficult to get and playing things that are difficult to get. Dating is said to be a game. If you want to win, you have to compete properly. Example: The idea that you have to wait for a certain period of time to send an email to someone so that you look busy or desperate.
But what does this talk about our date culture?
The Psychological Lure of the Dating Chase
Of course, there are psychological reasons for dating invitations chase Dr. Rachel O’Neill, TalkSpace therapist, explains, “Dating definitely has a positive strengthening side.”This enhancement is performed on a intermittent schedule (that is, reservations do not always lead to positive results), and you can actually strengthen that experience.””
In addition, “Think about this analogy. If you play a dollar every time you play on a slot machine, you will be excited for a while, but after a while you get bored and search for another slot machine. See.
If you think about it, dating is like gambling. I’m excited, the results are unknown, I’m impatient, and it’s dangerous. I don’t know how the other person reacts, not only for dating, but also for sending messages in dating apps. The opponent may be completely absorbed in you, and may be completely reluctant. There is no guarantee of rewards, and there is no guarantee that it will hit.
“Some of the people on dating find a scenario with high risk and returns, some people are really attractive. In many ways, they are tied to a high condition, that is, a thrill. You may be pursuing a high condition. the chase Certainly, this can be unhealthy. This pattern should be common.””
Therapy focusing on the relationship between you and your partner
Why We’re Addicted to the Chase
People have several reasons. are addicted to the chase And why is it difficult to cut off the habit?
Our chemical romance
To chase someone … it may be an emotion that you can’t taste in a safe relationship. Scientifically, if you fall in love, it will secrete pleasure hormones such as dopamine and adrenaline.
Part of the chase is a chase For these brain substances, you can feel euphoria again.
You can check your sel f-esteem
Another reason you can’t stop dating chase May be related to sel f-esteem.”In a sense, you may be trying to check your sel f-esteem through your partner,” says O’Neill.”For example, if you want to be familiar with people who are naturally desirable, confident in your career, and very confident, you can make your sel f-esteem more reliable.”””
This may explain your desires to chase A person who thinks it is the best even if it is impossible to realize. I want you to admit that you are a sufficient person in all situations, including dating, unconsciously (or not so unconscious). Are you so attractive? Are you smart enough? Is it sexy enough? Now, finding an ideal partner may be necessary to prove that you and others are valuable.
By swearing not to commit
Furthermore, the following is possible. be addicted to the chase Because you are not ready to have a commitment relationship yet. Each person has a different road, and his lifestyle is different. It’s okay if the universal system doesn’t suit you now.
Hunt for a long time so that someone can calm down.
Changing This Behavior (Only if You Want To)
Being a favorite person is not always possible to control, but you can look at your pattern and look at why it will happen. First, it is important to admit that there is a problem.
If you recognize that you have an emotion the chase If you identify some of the motives behind the action, you can take means of dealing with that area. “””
Work on true motivation
So, if you want to stop being addicted to the chase You need to delve into your emotions deeply. Also, judge whether it is really necessary. to stop If you think you should chase or do so stop If you really need hunting and settlement to stop being addicted to the dating chase You can deal with your motivation, like O’Neill’s advice.
For example, if you are not confident and become a knot because of it. stop chase After all, the real sel f-esteem comes from the inside, and relying on others to gain confidence is dangerous because it does not always work.
If you want a thrill and excitement, you can find other ideas to get a new hobby. There are many sports that are perfect for adrenaline release, such as snowboarding and surfing. Bonus New hobbies and skills can increase sel f-esteem and meet new people.
On the other hand, in order to build a lon g-term relationship, it is necessary to find a “right” partner. to stop You can catch a chasing and make it feel like you have never felt before. This is a signal of “I want to live with this person.”Until then, look forward to it the chase !
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